Tears welled in her eyes, breaking through her usual composure, and she ran from the sight, stifling her sobs. Once out of hearing, she stopped and, drying her tears, decided that she would not allow him to make a fool out of her. She was determined to plot her revenge, wait until the time was right, and then make him pay for his sins. Kathryn gasped. Joshua, the two-timing bastard, was blatantly snogging Celia on the garden bench. Her stomach soured at the hot and heavy display.
The sweet scent from the little white flowers that wafted over the sickening scene mocked the bitterness lodging like a rock in her heart at his betrayal. Tears rose and burst through her self-control. She turned and fled, stifling her sobs until she was out of hearing range. Note how the first example is written from the view of someone watching from outside Kathryn and in a voice unaffected by the scene. The narrator is simply telling the story; he or she is not involved in it. No one makes a fool out of me!
The language in the intimate example is the kind of language that Kathryn would use. Voice is that amorphous thing, the personality the writer uses to tell a story. Literary agents love voice because although many queries reflect competent writing and good stories, a great voice is distinct. Attributing emotions to non-POV characters. Tvlakv stood, speechless. Then, red-faced, he pointed at Kaladin and hissed something at the mercenaries.
Bluth took a step toward the cage, but then thought better of it. He glanced at Tvlakv, then shrugged and walked away. Tvlakv turned to Tag, but the other mercenary just shook his head, saying something soft. We can tell what the mercenaries are feeling though their actions, which is consistent with a third person limited perspective. If Sanderson was a less skillful writer and messed up third person POV, the passage might read something like this:.
Tvlakv stared angrily at Kaladin. Tag felt his heart jump, and he shook his head. Attributing motivation to non-POV characters. Your POV character only knows their own motivation. She turned and was startled to see Evan staring at her. Attributing thoughts to non-POV characters.
Behind her, a man wearing black started to follow her. The streetlight was out at the corner and the night was wreathed in black. She heard a footstep behind her, and her pace quickened. Suspense is good. Tension is good. Create as much tension as possible. For example:. You could try something like:. How can you describe your character without making any POV errors?
You could have your character study their reflection in a window or a mirror. Give your POV character a reason to think about their appearance, such as a date or a job interview. I got five inches taken off. What do you think? This is also dependent on genre.
Of course, it could be very important to your character. Teenage girls tend to think about appearance a lot. Consider your genre and adjust accordingly. Martin as a bit of a cautionary tale. Game of Thrones, the first book in the series has nine points of view. They are:. Sometimes characters have a POV chapter and are never heard from again usually the prologue or an epilogue.
Will, the character in the first POV chapter, introduces us to the others and is never heard from again actually, he may be dead. As the series goes on, there are even more POV chapters. Since then, the world has held its collective breath, waiting for Martin to release Winds of Winter.
But generally, the less POV characters you have, the better. Usually, each characters POV chapters should be evenly distributed throughout the book. Should your villain get a POV? Probably not, especially if your villain is just pure evil in a comic book, I-want-to-take-over-the-world kind of way. There are a few good reasons not to include your villains POV :. One could argue that Cersei gets a lot of POV chapters and most people hate her, but she does have a few redeeming qualities. She loves her children, and she has good cheekbones to quote Tyrion Lannister.
Are there exceptions? A story can contain more than one viewpoint character. Third person objective narration Third person objective is used when the point of view from which the story is told is like a floating camera following the characters around. Third person subjective or limited narration Unlike with third person objective, the reader has access to the thoughts and emotions of the viewpoint character.
Omniscient vs third person objective: Omniscient narration and third person objective narration have similarities, but the key is looking for when the narrator knows more than it could objectively observe. If you want to read more novels that use omniscient narration, though, I recommend: The Road by Cormac McCarthy — An excellent examples of a slightly disconnected omniscient narrator; you feel as though the narrator itself has been traumatised by the post-apocalyptic events.
Valente — A modern example of the author as omniscient narrator, to evoke traditional fairy tale storytelling technique. Sophie Playle is a professional fiction editor. She specialises in developmental editing, critiquing and copy-editing, and loves working with authors and publishers who are passionate about high-quality storytelling. Speculative fiction, fantasy, science fiction and literary fiction are her genres of choice.
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